Alma G Gonzalez

THEY CAN WAIT

Alma Gonzales Gonzalez – Thursday, February 3, 1938 – Sunday, April 16, 2023

The day, Sunday, April 16^th, was a beautiful sunny day.  A gentle wind was blowing, the yard was a radiant green after days of rain, and the flowers were in full bloom, when the phone rang.  That call would change mine, my brothers and our families and friends’ lives forever – the call was to inform me that my beautiful mother, Alma, had suddenly passed after a long illness.

Mom had been born in Corpus Christi, Texas on Thursday, February 3, 1938 to Manuel T. and Brigida Gonzales.  She followed the birth of her mischievous companion and brother, Manuel T. Jr.  Mom’s siblings Arnold, Richard, and Mildred followed closely after her.  They were all children of the era of World War II.   Like so many, that war played a large part in their daily lives.  For them it was because their father went off to serve in the war with the U.S. Navy as a Seabee.  Her father would be absent from their lives for more than three years. 

Mom and her family lived like many other families at the time, in a collection of apartments.  Mom shared the tales of the kids all playing at the playground and surrounding fields.  She never tired of telling us about the packages sent by her father!  Life in all aspects during the war were rationed, and that included chocolate and silk stockings.  Since their father was serving, he had access to both and could send those things to them and their mom.  Every time one came in the mail, they jumped for joy.  Mom would often share her candy with the less fortunate kids. (A trait, that of giving, she carried throughout her life.) She remembered those days and her tomboy ways with fondness.

Alma loved playing outdoors and teasing the boys.  She recalled the times the neighborhood boys would knock on the door asking for her – not her brothers – to play a game of baseball, and the times she would tease a certain little boy, only to have him chase her all the way home through the fields.  She would be giggling all the way into her mother’s arms. Mom loved her childhood days and her school friends, Benita (her Maid of Honor) and Irene.  Later her besties included Flora, Victoria, and Mary (Mother Superior).

Her childhood was full of fun and adventure with her siblings.  One of Mom’s favorite stories was about the new stove.  Apparently one of the kids’ favorite games was sliding down the newly polished hallway floors with her siblings.  One day, a day that closely followed grandpa buying grandma a new stove, they were running as fast as they could, before sliding down the hall leading to the kitchen.  One of boys, she would not say who, slid right into the new stove and broke the handle.  They all quickly fixed it, and said nothing to their parents.  The next morning my grandma opened the door and the handle broke off.  Instead of the kid’s getting into trouble, my grandpa was told he had bought a cheap piece of appliance.   

Mom’s besties and she also shared great times at the T-Head in Corpus Christi, and Sunday afternoons at my grandparents’ home dancing.  She told me about how she would clean the house and bake a cake (from scratch) for each gathering.  Mom loved to dance and bake…she would meet her future life-long dance partner while in high school.

As a high schooler, Mom was invited to join the social group, The Hi-Fairnessee Girls Club.  She had fun participating in watermelon parties and the four annual formal balls.  When I asked how they could afford four formals a year, she explained how her mom would take out a loan on her insurance policy to have her gowns made.  Each gown had to be a certain color and was made for her by a neighbor for $10!  Those gowns were stunning.

One afternoon while at a dance hall with friends, she saw a tall man and instantly knew he was a sailor.  Apparently, her friend saw the same guy, but Mom said she moved faster than her friend did toward him – him being my father, Benito Gonzalez.  Throughout their courtship, they wrote love letters back and forth, while he was out at sea.  Those letters bonded their love and they married on September 1, 1957, spending their first few months as newlyweds in Norfolk, Virginia in base housing.

Their marriage produced four children, Mark Anthony, Michael Andrew, Cynthia Anne, and Benedict Perry.  Mom took motherhood seriously, but with a flare of fun.  She always encouraged us to live life fully and to get out into the world, but her primary goal was to make sure we learned to read, love books as much as she did, and get an education past high school.  She succeeded.  Her library of books has been matched with not only her children’s libraries, but her grandchildren’s and great-grandchildren’s.  Mom always said that the world opens to you when you read, and no one could ever take away your knowledge.

Beyond her children and husband, Mom liked her time attending Tarrant County Community College and being a teacher’s assistant at Elder Middle School in Fort Worth.  Years later, she became Dad’s business partner.  Her ability to work hard, write, and be the best speller I knew, was an asset to Dad and us.  Her work ethic translated into expecting us to do our best in school, have good manners, and always be presentable…or else.

Mom’s charming smile and humor extended to everyone…everyone.  She loved life, helping others, especially those with the greatest needs, encouraging kids and adults alike to go after life, to leave behind their homes and see the world.  But her widest smiles came when her grandchildren came into her life.  Mom loved to bake cookies with and read to the kids.  She took great joy in their successes and did not mind siding with them over their parents.  When her great-grandchildren arrived, she was amazed by their existence.

Mom’s sense of humor never left.  As her death approached, she and I talked about dying.  She did not fear death, just the sadness it would cause.  I told her, “Mom, the good thing about dying is you’ll see God, Dad and Perry.”  Her response was so witty and dry, “They can wait.”

Alma will forever be remembered for the sense of adventure, laughter, smile, passion for her family, love of reading, and amazing baking skills.  Mom walked in grace and with style in showing kindness to others.  She is preceded in death by her beloved dance partner and husband, Ben, her much loved son, Perry, and her parents, Manuel and Brigida.

Mom leaves behind her children, Mark, Michael/Marten, and Cindy, as well as her grandsons, Douglas and Mark, and her granddaughters, Tyler/Alex, Amanda, Julia, and Marbrisa.  Great Alma, not Great Grams, leaves behind Madison, Ethan, Henry, Dylan, and James.  She also leaves behind to carry on her brothers, Manuel/Alice, Arnold/Mary Alice, Richard, and her sister, Mildred.  Mom was very close to Dad’s family – she leaves behind her in-laws, Maria/Joe Moreno, Nena Gonzalez, and Chris Gonzalez, as well as numerous nieces and nephews, her godchildren, Jean Christopher, Marcia Gonzalez Formby, Jennifer Sander, and Emily Palmer.

Our family would like to thank the staff, especially her nurses – Mary, Elizabeth and Mabel, her friends, Clarissa, John and the Nora(s), Director Gurley, the Physical Therapy staff, and Administrator Jeff Tait at Windsor Nursing and Rehab in Harlingen, Texas, and the Gentiva Hospice staff, Brian, Ashley, Dora, Enedina, Olivia, and Amadia.

Pallbearers are the Weslaco Woman’s Study Club, Benita Diotalevi, Claudia Sander, and Nancy Pierce.

Thank you, Mommy, for being our mother, Guide, Stylist, and Best Friend.